Friday, June 09, 2006

Steven Seagal Will Kick, And Then Rock, Your Ass

I was dining at the local Pita shack ("the", as in probably the only one in Atlanta), when my friend looks up, and queries, "Is That Steven Seagal?"

Hoping to see the Jewish Bruce Lee making his way down Ponce, I turn around, and see this picture:

Holy Shonen Knife! Is this for real?! Yes, yes, it is. I give you Steven Seagal and Thunderbox.

Apparently, He of The Clever 3 Word Action Movie Titles fancies himself quite the axe wielder. Reading Variety Playhouse's bio of the show yields some entertaining lines like "Watch those hands - they are capable of many surprises." And How!

If you are looking for some entertaining reading material, check out his entire Wikipedia entry. He may be one of the oddest people in Hollywood, and that's hard to do.

The thing that blows my mind is that they are actually charghing $20 for this concert, all while keeping a straight face. I am not saying I wouldn't pay money to see Steven Seagal front a band with a name that sounds like it could be the title of a Native American porno, but not $20. Maybe $10, but not if there's a service charge.

I know what you're thinking - "Eric, where can I, the reader, see this man with magic hands?"

Well, here's his tour (yes, I said a whole tour) schedule:

Sat 06/10/06 Mission, TX Pepe's On The River

Sun 06/11/06 New Orleans, LA House Of Blues

Wed 06/14/06 Memphis, TN New Daisy Theatre

Thu 06/15/06 Nashville, TN Exit / In

Fri 06/16/06 Mount Pleasant, MI Soaring Eagle Casino

Sat 06/17/06 Belleville, ON Empire Theatre

Sun 06/18/06 Chicago, IL House Of Blues

Tue 06/20/06 Pittsburgh, PA Rex Theatre

Wed 06/21/06 Cleveland, OH House Of Blues

Thu 06/22/06 Hagerstown, MD Maryland Theatre

Fri 06/23/06 Atlantic City, NJ House Of Blues

Sat 06/24/06 New York, NY TBA

Sun 06/25/06 New York, NY B.B. King's Blues Club

Tue 06/27/06 Alexandria, VA The Birchmere

Get your tickets while they last!

Thanks to Pollstar for the dates. I felt so wrong typing Steven Seagal into your search box, which usually provides such bountiful and enriching information. Please, forgive me.


Jamie said...

I bet Chuck Norris could totally outrock Steven Seagal.

Eric said...

Duh. Who do you think taught Steven Seagal how to rock?

Sadly, they don't speak anymore. Not since Seagal shaved his beard after coming out of a coma in "Hard to Kill".

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